Just in time for all you sailors stuck at home during these cold winter months:


Some suggestions you can do at home, if you miss being aboard your boat!

1.Sleep on the shelf in your closet.

2.Replace the closet door with a curtain.

3.Four hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain,
shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble, “Your watch!”.

4.Put a wall across the middle of you bathtub and move the shower head down
to chest level.

5.When taking showers, shut off the water while soaping.

6.Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to high.

7.If your basement floods, durning a sudden thaw, go down and start bailing.

8.Bring inside some type of gas motor(lawn mower, garden tiller, etc),
start, and leave running while trying to listen to favorite CD, or having an
in-depth conversation.

9.If the wind, outside, is howling, race around the house to make sure all
windows and doors are secure (at night, everyone takes a turn on ‘watch’).

10.Place all none edible garbage in small plastic bags, and store in other
half of tub (edible garbage to be thrown out the window).

11.Wake up at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale
bread. Cold canned ravioli or soup, is optional.

12.Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in the
pantry, ‘fridge, or freezer.

13.Once a month, pick a major appliance, take it completely apart, and put
it back together.

14.Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot, and allow it to sit for 5 to 6 hours
before drinking.

15.Put a fluorescent light under the coffee table, and lay there to read a

16.Every so often, throw the cat in the tub(hot tub, large sink, etc.) and
shout, “Man overboard!”.

17.Run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/ dishes off of the
counter onto the floor, then yell at the wife for not having the place
“stowed for sea

18. With every major wind shift, have your alarm go off so you can reset your address.

19.Periodically throw some sand about the house.

20.Cut two legs shorter on each chair.

21.During a squall, wake up – go to the front porch – throw a bucket of cold water in your face – go back to bed.


-This list is found in various forms and versions on numerous boating and navy sites across the web