Bell Laboratories announced today an amazing new breakthrough in hands-free texting technology.


Product team leader Mr. A. Bell explained, “we saw that people were getting more and more frustrated trying to communicate through the tiny keyboards on their phone, so we stepped up to do something about it.”

Their breakthrough new product allows users to simply speak into a handheld device to send a message to another user. The advanced digital technology behind the scenes then converts their voice into electrical impulses which are sent to the receiving users device and then almost magically transformed back into audible speech. This wonderful new “speech-to-text-to-speech” technology also provides an incredible live two-way simultaneous communication experience. You will now be able to talk over each other, interrupt each other or even finish each others sentences in ways never before possible with old fashioned texting.

While freeing users from the confines of the tiny keyboard is amazing in it’s own right, they went one step further. Bell explains, “While we were reinventing handheld communication technology we saw the opportunity to also tackle one of the most common complaints of today’s phone users, battery life”.

They have developed a unique solution to this age old problem plaguing phone users. They use an advanced flexible strip of conductive metals, or “wire”, to continuously provide an uninterrupted supply of electrical power directly into the handheld device.

Using this breakthrough combination of technologies allows users to now speak directly in to a handheld device and communicate to a friend a long distance away, and continue that conversation for as long as they like. Teenagers are already scrambling to have the devices installed right in their own bedroom for endless late night conversations.

“It is so simple!”, one anonymous teen user gushed, “All I have to do is enter a 7 digit number and I am immediately connected to my BFF” . Another tech-savvy teen commented on the performance of the new system, “It has amazingly low latency with almost no lag at all and I have so far never experienced a single dropped connection! The audio quality is like I have never heard before and the possibilities for gaming are intriguing since the hand free system can be used while simultaneously holding a console game controller.”

Bell has high hopes for the future of his technology. “We can only begin to imagine the effects this breakthrough will have on modern society and businesses.”